What is your biggest dream?
Do you have a dream or vision churning within you that you cannot let go of? What is holding you back from achieving it?
Most big dreams do not just fall into our laps. We usually have to work incredibly hard to achieve them. But along with working hard, it is also necessary to let go of control, certainty and allow ourselves to be incredibly vulnerable.
Are your fears holding you back?
I’ve recently learned that our fears are actually a guidepost towards our dreams. Yes, you heard me correctly! If you take a look at some of your biggest fears, it is just beyond those where all of your dreams lie. Fear stems from our need to cling onto certainty. Certainty is our desire to predict the outcomes before we proceed. We often only like to do the things that we believe will have the most minimal risk of us not looking good. Or rather, we do not typically put ourselves into a situation where we may look bad! How much of your life is driven by what the outside world thinks of you? Do you live in the safe zone just so you can feel good on the inside?
But it is within the midst of uncertainty, vulnerability, and being uncomfortable where we will grow and start to take steps towards our hopes and dreams. If you want to grow and take steps toward achieving your dreams, then you must get uncomfortable. Fear is essentially a self-defense mechanism to prevent us from being uncomfortable. Our fears are “attempting” to protect us from vulnerability and uncertainty.
So are you going to let your fears keep you from all of your goals? Of course not! If you want a happy, fulfilled, and successful life, you cannot allow uncertainty to drive your choices in life. New accomplishments and achievements will become a reality in the growth zone. When you come upon something that you are fearful of, it is actually a sign that you are on the right track towards your success. You will immediately feel the need to resist. But when resistance shows up in your life, it is actually that very thing you should do to unlock your true potential and greatness. Resistance equals fear.
F.E.A.R
Or look at it this way. There are 4 different types of fear that we face.
F = failure
E = expectations
A = abilities
R = regret
We fear that we will fail, or that our expectations will not be met, or doubt our ability to reach our goals, or fear that we would regret going after our dreams. Ultimately, looking deep at the root of our fear, it all stems from self-doubt. If we have self-doubt, we tend to procrastinate and prolong facing our fears. If we do not conquer our self-doubt, we will continue to procrastinate and will be that much further from reaching our goals! Just start! By taking the first step towards your dream, you will naturally remove self-doubt. Remember, progress not perfection.
How to define your dreams!
First things first, what are your big dreams? Is it just one or is your list endless? Have you ever written them down? There are several ways to see your dreams on paper, but I like this one…
To start, get a piece of paper and a pen, go to a private setting, sit quietly and meditate or pray for a few minutes. Next, keep your eyes closed and visualize yourself in 10 years. Where are you? What do you look like? Are you fit? What are you wearing? Where are you living? What are you driving? What are you doing for work? How much money do you make? What does your home look like? Now, open your eyes.
Write down everything that you just visualized – down to the most precise details you could see. Write down where you are working, how much money is in your bank account, are you married, do you see children? Do not let doubt creep into your mind, just write.
Now, what steps do you need to take to get you to what you just visualized? Does it require an entirely different career path or is it just expanding where you are? Does your goal require you to go back to school? Do you need to start taking a financial class to straighten out your finances?
Focus on one primary goal
I’m sure you are wondering how to know where to start. As I’ve learned and said before, we must focus on a primary goal to prevent feeling overwhelmed. Read HERE for more information on goal setting and why we need to pick one goal and go for it! But how do you decide which one to pick? Look at your description of how you just visualized your best self 10 years from now – what is the one goal that will bring you closer to that ideal self?
Facing Your Fears
Now, look at that one goal you have decided to focus on, what is preventing you from achieving it today? I’m going to intervene here and assume that a large portion of what is holding you back are your fears. But, you must decide what you want. Make the choice to do it then move on! Remember, it is your fears that are trying to keep you “safe” and protected from uncertainty. But I encourage you to look again at your ideal self 10 years from now, would that person be who they are and where they are without this goal? And, would you ultimately regret not trying to go for it? Regret can be powerful and detrimental to our mental well-being. So let’s avoid it!
By allowing fear to prevent you from following your dreams, you are giving respect to something that will take control over you. Now comes the difficult part, you need to define your fears. It is one thing to know what you are fearful of, but to fully face them, overcome them, and destroy them, you need to define them by writing them down or telling someone. Next, with logic and care, find a solution to them. As you face your fears, you may fall back and encounter mistakes, that is okay! Take a minute to figure out what you’re supposed to learn from the set back and move on! It is the journey that we learn the most from, not the finale.
Go After Your Dreams!
Be brave! Remember, it is actually on the other side of your fears where all of your success lies. By looking at your fears, facing them, and conquering them, you will find your purpose in life. As Bog Heilig says, “Fear is a call from God or the universe to guide you to your true purpose.” You will not be able to unlock your true potential in life without looking at and facing your fears.
Courage does not mean that you are not afraid, it means you are fearful and afraid, but you push through and do it anyway. Once you acknowledge your fear, push past it and conquer it, you will unlock your true potential. Your true purpose from God on this earth sits just behind that fear!
I believe in you, you just need to start believing in yourself!
All My Love, Nicole
