What is your biggest dream?

Do you have a dream or vision churning within you that you cannot let go of? What is holding you back from achieving it?

Most big dreams do not just fall into our laps. We usually have to work incredibly hard to achieve them. But along with working hard, it is also necessary to let go of control, certainty and allow ourselves to be incredibly vulnerable.

Are your fears holding you back?

I’ve recently learned that our fears are actually a guidepost towards our dreams. Yes, you heard me correctly! If you take a look at some of your biggest fears, it is just beyond those where all of your dreams lie. Fear stems from our need to cling onto certainty. Certainty is our desire to predict the outcomes before we proceed. We often only like to do the things that we believe will have the most minimal risk of us not looking good. Or rather, we do not typically put ourselves into a situation where we may look bad! How much of your life is driven by what the outside world thinks of you? Do you live in the safe zone just so you can feel good on the inside?

But it is within the midst of uncertainty, vulnerability, and being uncomfortable where we will grow and start to take steps towards our hopes and dreams. If you want to grow and take steps toward achieving your dreams, then you must get uncomfortable. Fear is essentially a self-defense mechanism to prevent us from being uncomfortable. Our fears are “attempting” to protect us from vulnerability and uncertainty.

So are you going to let your fears keep you from all of your goals? Of course not! If you want a happy, fulfilled, and successful life, you cannot allow uncertainty to drive your choices in life. New accomplishments and achievements will become a reality in the growth zone. When you come upon something that you are fearful of, it is actually a sign that you are on the right track towards your success. You will immediately feel the need to resist. But when resistance shows up in your life, it is actually that very thing you should do to unlock your true potential and greatness. Resistance equals fear.

F.E.A.R

Or look at it this way. There are 4 different types of fear that we face.

F = failure

E = expectations

A = abilities

R = regret

We fear that we will fail, or that our expectations will not be met, or doubt our ability to reach our goals, or fear that we would regret going after our dreams. Ultimately, looking deep at the root of our fear, it all stems from self-doubt. If we have self-doubt, we tend to procrastinate and prolong facing our fears. If we do not conquer our self-doubt, we will continue to procrastinate and will be that much further from reaching our goals! Just start! By taking the first step towards your dream, you will naturally remove self-doubt. Remember, progress not perfection.

How to define your dreams!

First things first, what are your big dreams? Is it just one or is your list endless? Have you ever written them down? There are several ways to see your dreams on paper, but I like this one…

To start, get a piece of paper and a pen, go to a private setting, sit quietly and meditate or pray for a few minutes. Next, keep your eyes closed and visualize yourself in 10 years. Where are you? What do you look like? Are you fit? What are you wearing? Where are you living? What are you driving? What are you doing for work? How much money do you make? What does your home look like? Now, open your eyes.

Write down everything that you just visualized – down to the most precise details you could see. Write down where you are working, how much money is in your bank account, are you married, do you see children? Do not let doubt creep into your mind, just write.

Now, what steps do you need to take to get you to what you just visualized? Does it require an entirely different career path or is it just expanding where you are? Does your goal require you to go back to school? Do you need to start taking a financial class to straighten out your finances?

Focus on one primary goal

I’m sure you are wondering how to know where to start. As I’ve learned and said before, we must focus on a primary goal to prevent feeling overwhelmed. Read HERE for more information on goal setting and why we need to pick one goal and go for it! But how do you decide which one to pick? Look at your description of how you just visualized your best self 10 years from now – what is the one goal that will bring you closer to that ideal self?

Facing Your Fears

Now, look at that one goal you have decided to focus on, what is preventing you from achieving it today? I’m going to intervene here and assume that a large portion of what is holding you back are your fears. But, you must decide what you want. Make the choice to do it then move on! Remember, it is your fears that are trying to keep you “safe” and protected from uncertainty. But I encourage you to look again at your ideal self 10 years from now, would that person be who they are and where they are without this goal? And, would you ultimately regret not trying to go for it? Regret can be powerful and detrimental to our mental well-being. So let’s avoid it!

By allowing fear to prevent you from following your dreams, you are giving respect to something that will take control over you. Now comes the difficult part, you need to define your fears. It is one thing to know what you are fearful of, but to fully face them, overcome them, and destroy them, you need to define them by writing them down or telling someone. Next, with logic and care, find a solution to them. As you face your fears, you may fall back and encounter mistakes, that is okay! Take a minute to figure out what you’re supposed to learn from the set back and move on! It is the journey that we learn the most from, not the finale.

Go After Your Dreams!

Be brave! Remember, it is actually on the other side of your fears where all of your success lies. By looking at your fears, facing them, and conquering them, you will find your purpose in life. As Bog Heilig says, “Fear is a call from God or the universe to guide you to your true purpose.” You will not be able to unlock your true potential in life without looking at and facing your fears.

Courage does not mean that you are not afraid, it means you are fearful and afraid, but you push through and do it anyway. Once you acknowledge your fear, push past it and conquer it, you will unlock your true potential. Your true purpose from God on this earth sits just behind that fear!

I believe in you, you just need to start believing in yourself!

All My Love, Nicole

Happy New Year!

Like all of you, I have been thinking of new goals for the new year. Who doesn’t want to start out a new year with new behaviors? It is a season that we tend to reflect on our previous year and feel we are offered an opportunity to improve. Josh asked me what my 3 goals were for the upcoming year and to be honest, I haven’t answered him. I want to be very specific yet broad all at the same time. Does anyone else feel that way?

Focusing on one goal at a time

I listen to a lot of podcasts during my drives to and from work. I mean, a lot of podcasts, too many podcasts! Although they are all valuable, they leave me feeling like I can conquer the world! I tend to get too many ideas and become way to ambitious! My grandiose ideas steer me into too many lanes and I am not nearly as laser focused as I should be on specific goals.

One thing I have learned, but still need to work on, is that you should start with one specific goal. If you set your eyes on several goals and do not focus on one, you will end up doing everything half-assed (sorry for the language). As Rachel Hollis has said, if you throw a bunch of pebbles into a lake, it will make small ripples in the water but not much movement. Now, throw a boulder into the lake and you’ll make a ginormous splash and some serious movement!

We all need to see some serious movement within the goals we have set for ourselves. Movement means progress which will continue to motivate you to keep fighting for that particular goal. Without movement, progress, and motivation, you may begin to feel discouraged and will quit.

Declare your goal

Once you have picked out your one particular goal – say it out loud! Not only should you say it, you should scream it from the roof tops! I am going to…..!!! Tell your spouse, your best friend, your parents, or just scream it out loud in your car (I’ve done that before and it actually worked). Also, this is important, you must be resolute and state your goal in the form of a statement. Do not say, I want to run a 5K, rather say, “I am going to run a 5K!” When you declare a goal, say it as though it is DEFINITELY going to happen!

My goal for this year

So here it goes, my declaration: I am going to present at two speaking engagements this year! Now, I am specifying two events because I already have one speaking engagement scheduled. I would be cheating myself, lying to all of you, and not challenging myself if I do not go beyond what I have planned already. I have decided to challenge myself and put myself out there a bit this year. Do I love public speaking, no – not really at all. But I see an opportunity to share some things I’m passionate about. I have had personal experiences that I feel other people would benefit from hearing about.

Speaking Engagement #1

This month, I will be speaking at a Women’s Winter Retreat hosted by Allerton Retreat Center and CUltivate. A great friend mentioned that she was going to be presenting and wondered if I would be interested as well. I thought, sure! In full transparency, I was not chosen to speak at this event nor did I apply. I emailed a chairperson, shared a topic idea that I feel I am knowledgeable in that would benefit women, and she said, “Sure!” So I will be presenting Clean Living – Why you should consider leading a cleaner lifestyle. I do not presume to be perfect in this topic, but as I have learned more I feel the need to share more.

Here in the U.S., there is a significant lack of regulation to protect us as consumers, especially from the ingredients in personal care products. Click HERE to learn how to keep you and your family safe. Or read this post on Phthalates, to understand why you should steer clear of them!

Sorry, I digress – but if you are local and interested in learning some valuable information to enhance your personal or professional life from some amazing local women, consider signing up for the Women’s Winter Retreat! I am looking forward to meeting new women, developing new friendships, networking, relaxing and learning ways to improve myself and have a kick butt year! I’d love to see you there!

Speaking Engagement #2

My second speaking engagement in 2020 is not as much of a sure thing. I have no idea if I will actually get the opportunity to present, but I really want this one! I pray that my passion and what I envision for this topic are portrayed clearly in my submission. If you are the praying kind, I’m not afraid to ask for a little prayer for this one. The topic is incredibly relevant in the arena and I feel that it could really affect the attendees.

Honestly, I wasn’t going to declare my goal on here, but I felt a bit hypocritical, and I do not like hypocrites, so here it goes. I am going to speak at a nursing conference in a concurrent session on the importance of Family-Centered Care. Did you see how I stated it although I actually have no idea if it will actually happen!

After years have passed, I have come to the realization that I have been blessed with a different perspective. Although, it has taken me awhile to consider it a blessing. After being a NICU nurse for years and a NNP, sitting on the other side of the isolette as a mother of a 23 weeker, forever changed me. I know William’s story will change other lives as well and be incredibly impactful. So I am going to do it!

What are your goals?

It is time to dream, my friends. If not today, then when?

State your goal, then start to work backwards to figure out how you are going to achieve it. Write those steps down. Make sure the steps are measurable and concrete. Vagueness is a cop-out. Be brave, precise, and bold. If it was easy, you would have done it already. But you need very specific steps to get you to your dream. Write them down, dig deep, and get to work!

What you need to get started

Planners

Depending on your goal, you may need very specific things. But to start, I recommend a planner. Even with all of the technology, I still find it necessary and productive to have a paper planner. To keep yourself organized and on task, you should have a space to write down your daily, weekly and monthly priorities and goals. I really like this one by Clever Fox.

Or this beauty by Smart Planner Pro. What I love about this planner is that it also has a place for daily gratitude. Practicing gratitude on a daily basis is an amazing behavior to adapt. Focusing on your daily blessings trains your mind to naturally see and appreciate the good things in your life.

The Pens

Now, here is the one thing I promise you need for the new year – in addition to all of the above! 😉 Amazing Pens! I have found the creme de la creme of pens! If you are a nurse or nurse practitioner, you understand the important of a good pen!

Also, because I love a clean and flawless organizer, checkbook etc. without marks all over it, I have found erasable pens – that actually work! Not only are the pens erasable, but they write beautifully and come in gorgeous colors so you can color coordinate your planner! Yes, nerd alert!!! The pens are from FriXion and they come in a colorful pack of 7 – Check them out HERE!

Happy New Year! I hope you all have an amazing year ahead of you! Reach for the stars, declare your goal, dig in and go for it! I’d love to hear what your goal is for the year, so please comment!

Love, Nicole