bravery – Clean Up Your Act!

How are you really coping through the Coronavirus pandemic? The reality is that we are amidst a time of uncertainty that is unlike anything any of us have experienced before.

We are scared, worried, sad, maybe even mad and frustrated. I do not think any of us initially knew or understood the severity of what was happening in the other countries until it affected ours.

So many disappointments…

I am embarrassed to now admit that I was upset college basketball and March Madness were cancelled. Initially, I was in denial that my conference in Hawaii, where I was meant to present, was going to be cancelled.

I was disappointed that my son’s 6th birthday would be different than what we had envisioned for him.

I am heartbroken that my nephew’s senior year in high school has ended this way. No baseball season, no prom, and no formal graduation. A time in our youth’s life when these events mean everything to them. A time they will not get back with their friends before heading off to college, the military, or trade school.

Or seniors in college who have worked so hard to earn their degree. With just a few more months to cherish their time as a “kid” before heading off to the real world.

Or even those senior college basketball players that thought this was going to be their year. Not only were they going to make it to “the Big Dance” but they had dreams of winning the whole tournament. Dreams that we will never have an answer for.

Stepping back and gaining perspective

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But although those disappointments may mean the world to so many people, there is something so much more detrimental going on.

So many Americans and people around the world that have lost their life to this horrific virus.

There are people that have lost their jobs or other who are concerned if their businesses can sustain the pandemic.

Or all of the healthcare workers and first responders that are risking their lives everyday to care for others. Read HERE to see how I honored the healthcare workers for their continued bravery and selflessness. This One is For the Heroes, was just a small way that I could say, “thank you!”

Embracing the positives changes

Although our lives have been flipped upside down, once we are back to standing right side up, we will see some positive outcomes.

The gift of time. The extra time you have been given with your family, you will not get back! The ability to slow down, pause, and reflect will vanish just as quickly as the stay-at-home order came.

Although it doesn’t seem possible, we will look back on this time and forget some of the details.

I want to be able to look back on this time and remember the fear, anxiety, and worry I have been feeling. But also to remember the warmth, kindness, beauty and joy that I have witnessed and felt during this time.

So I developed a questionnaire to capture all of those feelings. There is one unique for each age group – something my whole family can look back and reflect on.

The Coronavirus Time Capsule Questionnaire addresses our current feelings about the pandemic. What concerns you the most? How are our children coping? But most importantly, how this time of reflection will impact our future.

I plan to take my new perspectives after all of this and be all the better because of it. If we cannot improve ourselves after a storm, then what is the point? If we cannot learn to appreciate the small things and God’s blessing during and after a nationwide pandemic – then when will we ever?!?

Making lemonade out of lemons!

My son’s birthday ended up being spectacular! We had a mini parade on a beautiful day with a fire truck, police car, “yellow tanker truck”, as well as our family and friends that all adore William!

Firemen are heroes. Fire truck to help celebrate birthday during Coronavirus.

A greater appreciation after a new perspective

My hope is that once this passes, we will all have gained an even greater appreciation for things and people we previously took for granted.

For me, I have developed an even greater appreciation for teachers, hair stylists, dog groomers, and all of the first responders and healthcare workers.

I appreciate my ability to freely go to the store, the gym, to go shopping or to a restaurant. While out and about, I cannot wait to see all of the smiles on everyone’s faces that are currently being hidden by masks.

When I hug my parents, friends, and family, I plan to squeeze them a little tighter and take a moment to cherish it even more. And church! Oh my goodness how I will thank God for my ability to sing and worship again inside a church every week!

Family Time

And although I struggle to keep my son occupied at times, I am cherishing every moment I have with that boy. I have been given the gift of time with him. Time I will not get back. He will head off to full-day kindergarten this Fall. Other than summer breaks, these are the last full days I will have with him. I have been given a gift.

I appreciate the quiet time at home with my family. No running errands, or to appointments and activities. No running. Just quiet, quality time with my family. How wonderful!

What are you grateful for during this time?

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Grief, grace, and guidance

Lastly, it is okay to not be okay. None of us have navigated through something like this before. Show yourself some grace, but bestow it upon others as well.

Call or reach out to friends and family, especially those that live alone. Pray, meditate, exercise, or take a nice walk. Make sure you care for yourself physically and emotionally in the midst of this pandemic.

Fill your cup by finding church services online, read the Bible or pick up that book you’ve been wanting to read. Pause and enjoy the extra time you have been given with your family.

But, if you are having trouble moving past your sadness or you just need someone to speak to, please reach out to a therapist or counselor. Many therapists are offering virtual sessions. It is okay to ask for guidance through this time of uncertainty.

We will get through this! I am here for you! Be well!

What is your biggest dream?

Do you have a dream or vision churning within you that you cannot let go of? What is holding you back from achieving it?

Most big dreams do not just fall into our laps. We usually have to work incredibly hard to achieve them. But along with working hard, it is also necessary to let go of control, certainty and allow ourselves to be incredibly vulnerable.

Are your fears holding you back?

I’ve recently learned that our fears are actually a guidepost towards our dreams. Yes, you heard me correctly! If you take a look at some of your biggest fears, it is just beyond those where all of your dreams lie. Fear stems from our need to cling onto certainty. Certainty is our desire to predict the outcomes before we proceed. We often only like to do the things that we believe will have the most minimal risk of us not looking good. Or rather, we do not typically put ourselves into a situation where we may look bad! How much of your life is driven by what the outside world thinks of you? Do you live in the safe zone just so you can feel good on the inside?

But it is within the midst of uncertainty, vulnerability, and being uncomfortable where we will grow and start to take steps towards our hopes and dreams. If you want to grow and take steps toward achieving your dreams, then you must get uncomfortable. Fear is essentially a self-defense mechanism to prevent us from being uncomfortable. Our fears are “attempting” to protect us from vulnerability and uncertainty.

So are you going to let your fears keep you from all of your goals? Of course not! If you want a happy, fulfilled, and successful life, you cannot allow uncertainty to drive your choices in life. New accomplishments and achievements will become a reality in the growth zone. When you come upon something that you are fearful of, it is actually a sign that you are on the right track towards your success. You will immediately feel the need to resist. But when resistance shows up in your life, it is actually that very thing you should do to unlock your true potential and greatness. Resistance equals fear.

F.E.A.R

Or look at it this way. There are 4 different types of fear that we face.

F = failure

E = expectations

A = abilities

R = regret

We fear that we will fail, or that our expectations will not be met, or doubt our ability to reach our goals, or fear that we would regret going after our dreams. Ultimately, looking deep at the root of our fear, it all stems from self-doubt. If we have self-doubt, we tend to procrastinate and prolong facing our fears. If we do not conquer our self-doubt, we will continue to procrastinate and will be that much further from reaching our goals! Just start! By taking the first step towards your dream, you will naturally remove self-doubt. Remember, progress not perfection.

How to define your dreams!

First things first, what are your big dreams? Is it just one or is your list endless? Have you ever written them down? There are several ways to see your dreams on paper, but I like this one…

To start, get a piece of paper and a pen, go to a private setting, sit quietly and meditate or pray for a few minutes. Next, keep your eyes closed and visualize yourself in 10 years. Where are you? What do you look like? Are you fit? What are you wearing? Where are you living? What are you driving? What are you doing for work? How much money do you make? What does your home look like? Now, open your eyes.

Write down everything that you just visualized – down to the most precise details you could see. Write down where you are working, how much money is in your bank account, are you married, do you see children? Do not let doubt creep into your mind, just write.

Now, what steps do you need to take to get you to what you just visualized? Does it require an entirely different career path or is it just expanding where you are? Does your goal require you to go back to school? Do you need to start taking a financial class to straighten out your finances?

Focus on one primary goal

I’m sure you are wondering how to know where to start. As I’ve learned and said before, we must focus on a primary goal to prevent feeling overwhelmed. Read HERE for more information on goal setting and why we need to pick one goal and go for it! But how do you decide which one to pick? Look at your description of how you just visualized your best self 10 years from now – what is the one goal that will bring you closer to that ideal self?

Facing Your Fears

Now, look at that one goal you have decided to focus on, what is preventing you from achieving it today? I’m going to intervene here and assume that a large portion of what is holding you back are your fears. But, you must decide what you want. Make the choice to do it then move on! Remember, it is your fears that are trying to keep you “safe” and protected from uncertainty. But I encourage you to look again at your ideal self 10 years from now, would that person be who they are and where they are without this goal? And, would you ultimately regret not trying to go for it? Regret can be powerful and detrimental to our mental well-being. So let’s avoid it!

By allowing fear to prevent you from following your dreams, you are giving respect to something that will take control over you. Now comes the difficult part, you need to define your fears. It is one thing to know what you are fearful of, but to fully face them, overcome them, and destroy them, you need to define them by writing them down or telling someone. Next, with logic and care, find a solution to them. As you face your fears, you may fall back and encounter mistakes, that is okay! Take a minute to figure out what you’re supposed to learn from the set back and move on! It is the journey that we learn the most from, not the finale.

Go After Your Dreams!

Be brave! Remember, it is actually on the other side of your fears where all of your success lies. By looking at your fears, facing them, and conquering them, you will find your purpose in life. As Bog Heilig says, “Fear is a call from God or the universe to guide you to your true purpose.” You will not be able to unlock your true potential in life without looking at and facing your fears.

Courage does not mean that you are not afraid, it means you are fearful and afraid, but you push through and do it anyway. Once you acknowledge your fear, push past it and conquer it, you will unlock your true potential. Your true purpose from God on this earth sits just behind that fear!

I believe in you, you just need to start believing in yourself!

All My Love, Nicole