Celebrating all mothers on Mother’s Day

Honoring all mothers on Mother's Day — Our family

The grief that may come to many on Mother’s Day

I wanted to take a minute and explain why I believe all mothers should be honored on Mother’s Day. It should be a joyous day, but it may not be for everyone. The weeks building up to it and the actual day can be difficult for many people. We are blessed enough to still have my mother and mother-in-law in our lives, but many people have lost their mothers, and mourn them even more on Mother’s Day. Many women have hopes of becoming a mother, but for whatever reason, often due to infertility or other complications, that dream has yet to be fulfilled. For many women, they mourn for their children that they were never able to meet alive or some have gone through the horrific tragedy of losing their child. A day that is meant to be joyful can quickly turn into a day that many may dread or have a hard time getting through.

The different types of mothers we need to honor

Many women may not have children of their own, but they may play the role of a mother. We also need to celebrate those women as well! You may be an aunt, a teacher, a mentor, or an amazing friend – remember, you mean so much to those children, do not take your role lightly, and celebrate it! You may be a step-mother and you are unsure of your place, but believe me, your role is incredibly important!

Being a step-mother

I officially became a mother to my step-daughter, Reece, when Josh and I got married in September of 2013. We have definitely had our ups and downs, but overall, we have a great relationship. Has it been difficult? Absolutely! Becoming a step-mom has been one of the most difficult experiences I have ever been through. I often feel as though I’m the first one to blame and the last one to thank. I care so much and I have the best intentions in mind, but I often feel that my opinion and role are second fiddle because I am just her step-mom.

Defining your role as a step-mother

I know some step-mothers struggle with which role they will play – will they be more of a friend or a mom. For me, I instantly took on the motherly role. Although, at the young age of 6, Reece gave me the line, “you’re not my mom” after I had scolded her one time very quickly. 🙂 I have always known that she may not like me in the moment, but I know that deep down she does love me. It brings me so much joy to see how kind, loving, and well-mannered she is – or at least as much as a thirteen year old can be 😉 She loves Jesus and is an amazing big sister! I feel blessed to have had an opportunity to play a small part in her life! Although it hasn’t been easy, I feel like we are better than we have ever been and I’m excited to see what our future holds!

William, my first born

William. He has taught me more than anyone in my life thus far! Throughout my pregnancy and since he took his first breath, nothing has been easy for him, but he has continued to persevere. He had to be emergently delivered at 23 4/7 weeks and weighed only 1 lb, 6 oz.

Living in the NICU – Living with no regrets

He is now a strong, funny, sarcastic, smart, shy, strong-willed, determined 5-year old. After 91 days in the NICU, we were able to bring him home. Once we walked out of those NICU doors, I was completely a different person and with an renewed sense of trust, faith, hope, and belief. I feel so blessed to be his mother. Josh used to get after me when William was in the NICU because I spent all of my waking hours sitting next to his isolette or holding him when I could. It was the most helpless feeling I have ever experienced. As a Mom, I wanted to protect him and I believed as though I had already failed him in that regard. I could not protect him in the womb, so I had told myself that I was going to sit there and fight the fight with him. If God forbid anything happened to him, I did not want to have any regrets. Considering everything he had to endure and for how hard he had to fight, the least I could do was sit there, pray with him, sing to him, love him, and support him.

My strong-WILLed 5 year old

William is doing remarkably well considering he was born so prematurely. There are still some things that are more difficult for him. It is hard to decipher what may be due to his prematurity versus him just being William. And in reality, it doesn’t really matter. But as a mother, to see your child struggle is incredibly difficult. All I have ever wanted to do is protect him and I can’t always do that, even now. He is definitely a little spoiled, but still so kind, incredibly strong-willed and he has such a big heart.

He made me a Mama — William and I at his fifth birthday party

My personal struggle with miscarriages

After William, we waited awhile, but then decided to proceed with building our family. I became pregnant and Josh and I were cautiously optimistic. Just as in William’s pregnancy, my first trimester went by very smoothly. But as I entered into the second trimester, I quickly began to have problems that mimicked my pregnancy with William. Unfortunately, unlike William’s pregnancy, they were unable to stop the preterm labor and I delivered my son Weston at 14 weeks. That same year, I experienced another miscarriage in my 8th week of pregnancy. I think of the babies I lost EVERY. SINGLE. DAY, but Mother’s Day is extremely difficult for me.

If you have experienced a miscarriage or know someone who has, please visit HERE and listen to my conversation, Working Through Emotions After a Miscarriage with Julia Pascoe, LCSW.

Honoring your infants after a miscarriage — Remembering mothers who have had a miscarriage or loss

Bereaved Mother’s Day

There is a day called International Bereaved Mother’s Day that is celebrated the week before Mother’s Day. It is dedicated to remember mothers who have either lost a child or have not been able to conceive. I like the idea of this, but at the same time, I also believe that these women should be honored on Mother’s Day. They are still mothers and always will be. Even if I was not lucky enough to have Reece or William, I would still be a Mama to Weston and Baby Nyberg.

So next year, please remember those who may struggle a little more on Mother’s Day. Talk to them about it and do not be afraid to tell them Happy Mother’s Day!

Helpful Clean Living Tips
Read the tips below for simple, helpful tips on how to thoroughly wash your fruits and vegetables to keep you and your family safe from harmful chemicals.

Make sure when you go shopping for your fruits and vegetables, bring your reusable mesh fruit/vegetable bags with you to avoid using the plastic bags from the store. I love these because they come in a variety of sizes and are super sturdy!

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration recommends washing produce thoroughly. Using vinegar to clean your fruit will help kill bacteria and ensure your fruits and vegetables are safe for consumption. A study published in 2003 in the “Journal of Food Protection” found that washing apples with a vinegar and water solution reduced salmonella on the outer skin significantly more than washing them with water alone. A study found that vinegar killed approximately 98 percent of bacteria on the surface of fresh fruits and vegetables. Wash fruits and vegetables using 3 parts water to 1-part distilled vinegar. I use this distilled vinegar.

Smooth-skinned produce – includes tomatoes, apples, pears, and grapes. Use a spray bottle with the vinegar mixture to thoroughly coat the exterior of the fruit or vegetable. Allow the produce to rest for 30 seconds before rubbing its surface and rinsing it under cold, running water which will remove the vinegar taste. The FDA recommends cleaning smooth-skinned fruits and vegetables by gently rubbing them with your hands instead of an abrasive scrubber to prevent the skin from breaking, which could expose the flesh to contaminants.

Rough-surfaced produce – includes broccoli, cauliflower, leafy greens, melons, potatoes, berries that are more difficult to clean. Soak the fruits and vegetables in the 1 to 3 vinegar solution for 10 minutes to ensure the acidic blend kills all bacteria. Once the soak is complete, scrub the vegetables with a brush and rinse them under running water.
Leafy vegetables – Pour the distilled vinegar into a large bowl or basin and add 3 cups of water. Stir gently with a large spoon or ladle to mix the liquids thoroughly. Separate the leaves of leafy vegetables, such as cabbage, lettuce, spinach and turnip greens, and dip them in the vinegar solution. Remove from the bowl, rinse under cold running water, shake off any excess and pat dry before serving.

Additional Tips:
 To protect yourself, always wash your hands thoroughly before and after handling the fruits/vegetables.
 Thoroughly wash sink before washing fruit or vegetables.
 Wash any surface the fruit/vegetable touched, including knives and cutting boards.
 Never cut or peel fruits and vegetables before washing them, as this can contaminate the flesh.
 Always dry produce with a clean cloth and cut away damaged areas before serving.
 When working with cabbage and lettuce, discard the outer leaves but do not fail to wash the inner leaves individually.
 Blend lemon juice with the vinegar mixture to increase its efficacy by increasing the acidity which will help kill larger amounts of bacteria, including E. coli.
 Washing berries with a vinegar solution offers additional benefits — it prevents them from molding within a few days of purchase.
 When shopping, choose unbruised and undamaged produce.
 Always wash oranges, melons, squash, pineapple and other produce with inedible rinds — cutting or peeling the produce will transfer contaminants to the edible flesh.

Overall, the USDA found 225 different pesticides and pesticide breakdown products on popular fruits and vegetables Americans eat every day. Before testing, all produce was washed and peeled, just as people would prepare food for themselves, which shows that simple washing does not remove all pesticides. The EWG’s Shopper’s Guide is a resource designed to help you reduce your pesticide exposures as much as possible by indicating which produce you should try to buy organic, and which conventional products are low in pesticide residue.

EWG’s Dirty Dozen for 2019
1. Strawberries
2. Spinach
3. Kale
4. Nectarines
5. Apples
6. Grapes
7. Peaches
8. Cherries
9. Pears
10. Tomatoes
11. Celery
12. Potatoes

Although we cannot prevent all of the chemicals from entering into the produce we purchase from a store, I hope these tips and knowledge will help to ensure to keep you and your family safe!