O Christmas Tree

Our Christmas Tree Story

Christmas Wreath
My new Christmas Wreath I made this year!

In my younger years

Almost every year, I have had a Christmas tree up in my home. Growing up, my parents would take us out to the tree farm and we would pick out the best tree. To ensure we had the perfect tree, I would continue to look even after my family had picked one out. It had to be perfect!

The tradition continued. Living in Naperville, by myself, I would go to a store, pick out a real tree, get it home and somehow get it up in the tree stand without any help (to be honest, I am still unaware how I did that and why I insisted on it). One year, I came home to find a tree on my floor and a total disaster in my living room, which lead me to maybe one Christmas without a tree and an artificial one in the years to follow.

After marriage…

After Josh and I got married, we continued to use my 8 ft artificial tree for a few years. Although, our living room has vaulted ceilings with a cat walk, so Josh always thought my 8 ft tree looked silly. So, we bit the bullet and bought a beautiful, pre-lit, 12 ft artificial tree in November of 2016. Although it wasn’t real, I loved this tree. It was tall and thin and perfect!

Our former, beautiful, pre-lit, 12 ft Christmas tree

The 12 Pains of Christmas

We already had found our perfect tree, check, so we put up our tree on November 27th. Josh dreads the day that we put the tree up and all of the Christmas decorations come out and invade our home. This year, he started to put our artificial tree together and while he was rigging up the lights… guess what? We started to notice that several areas of the lights were not working. After multiple attempts of changing out the plug fuses, we tried again and nothing. As we worked up, which I insisted that we try, they continued to not work! Ugh!

A little background on Josh, he does not and will not spend hours messing around with things that do not work. He was ready to toss our 3 year old, beautiful, pre-lit, 12 ft, tall and skinny tree on the curb. I suggested that we just add our own lights on top of the others and he threw out a line I often use, ta-ta-tacky. Double ugh!

Warranty, yeah right!

I do what I do best and called the store where we purchased the tree ready to chew them out! They sent me to the tree company and I spoke with a lovely (not-so-much) women. She let me know that there is a 3-year warranty on our tree and our warranty had expired. Really? And how did she know what day I purchased the tree? How could she presume it would be expired? I was informed that if I could find a receipt, it would be considered. Now I do typically keep most receipts, but to find it would have been quite a task.

So I decided to look back at my pictures from 2016 and see what day we decorated the tree presuming it would be the day we bought it. Are you ready for this? November 26, 2016!!! Three years and one day. Are you kidding me?!? Somehow, I was not surprised to find myself in this ironic situation!

So, our beautiful, 3 year old, perfect tree went back into the boxes and on the curb. Sadly, I was not the one having a breakdown about it. William had been asking, begging, and pleading to decorate our tree for days – so for him to see it go back into the boxes and on the curb was dreadful. No perfect tree, uncheck.

Our New Tree

Wait! I’m sorry, who did you say picked out the tree?

After the devastation of our gorgeous, pre-lit, 12 ft tree sitting outside on my curb, Josh informed me that he would like to get a real tree this year. I was surprised but totally game! I thought it would be so magical to take the kids and find the perfect tree. Josh, like many husbands really tries to “fix things” and make projects more simple. Although he typically believes that he is thinking of me, he often forgets what makes me tick. So, once he called to let me know that the people at the Garden Shop had picked out our tree, I was a bit apprehensive. Wait – what? You haven’t even seen the tree? Most importantly, I haven’t seen the tree!!! I was cautiously optimistic to come home and see the glorious tree.

Upon our arrival home, I forget Reece’s exact words, but it was something along the lines of, “Colie is going to freak out!” And I did. I turned the corner and found this…

Our gigantic Christmas tree

Little full, lotta sap

Now, what you cannot appreciate in the above picture is the fact that the tree is taking up the whole entire walkway. I pretty much panicked when I walked in and saw it! What was my husband thinking? In his defense, the tree was completely wrapped when he brought it into our home. Then he unleashed the beast! I mean, there are no words! Josh was trying to convince me that it will work with a bit of a trim. Uh huh. I told him that we would make it work because I was not spending any more money on a tree this year.

I was not the only one who was becoming anxious

William began to quickly pick up on my anxiety and he started to become upset. He said he didn’t like the new tree and wanted our old one back (me too Bud).

To keep my anger and anxiety in check, I preoccupied my thoughts with vacuuming up what was formerly my rug that had been transformed into a bed of pine needles. Clearly the hum of the shop-vac had tuned out what Josh was doing behind me! I turned around to see him sawing off tree branches from the back of the tree! Aghhhh! I screamed, “what are you doing?!?” He was sawing, yes, you read that correctly, sawing off not just one, but two, large branches off the back of the tree! NOOOOOOO!

What had been an oversized, too-big for our home, gigantic tree was now all of the aforementioned, plus it now had a giant hole in the back of it! Breathe, breathe! But I just couldn’t. I kind of lost it on Josh! Screaming, “You trim from the outside in, you cannot take off entire branches! Now we have a HUGE tree with a gigantic hole in the back!” Unfortunately, William was present during this discussion as well and was really getting upset. He was tearful and said he did not like our new tree.

Removing yourself from the situation

I needed some air and to be honest, William did too. We left for a bit to run a couple of errands. William was really concerned about the tree and I’m embarrassed to say, my reaction to it. He said to me when we were in the car, “Mommy, I’m not having any luck with that new tree.” I told William, “You know what Bud, I am not either, but it will be okay.” As I began to explain to him that our new tree was not what Christmas was about, I realized that I clearly needed to remind myself of the same thing.

Our Tree in a New Light

Upon our return, the tree was still there. We were pivoting it and turning it trying to find it’s good side. Yes, I said the tree’s good side. Our dilemma was complicated because where the tree sits in our home allows you the opportunity to appreciate the beauty of the tree from three different sides. Soooo, one giant hole could still be appreciated no matter how we turned it. “True meaning of Christmas, true meaning of Christmas.”

Word had spread in the neighborhood about our amazing tree. Our friends came to check it out and they were stunned to say the least. My friend, Kellie, who helps me keep things in perspective suggested that we try to “tie up some branches.” Okay, let’s do it! So we put Josh under the tree and we began to lift up branches using zip ties. She was really starting to look pretty good.

A different perspective

Two different pizza delivery drivers came by our house that night (long story) and their reactions were priceless! Each of them were mesmerized by our tree! The decorating of our gigantic tree had commenced! The Christmas love and magic I believe so strongly in was going to come through in this tree! William was very proud of where he put each ornament and he truly enjoyed decorating it! I mean, we may have had 3 ornaments per branch, but she was really starting to become a beauty!

William and I decorating our tree

True Meaning of Christmas

Although it took several different nights to complete our tree decorating process due to needing 10 feet of lights, hundreds of ornaments, our large ladder, and stamina – we did it!

After we were done decorating, William stood back and said, “I love our Christmas tree! It is so beautiful!” And it truly was! It is amazing how we can get so caught up in the nonsense of Christmas, whether it’s finding the perfect tree or dealing with Christmas lights. We get so stressed trying to find the perfect gift for everyone, the sales, and craziness of shopping. But as William and I were on our drive, I had explained to him, and needed to remind myself of what Christmas was really about. In our home, it is first and foremost about the birth of our Savior, Jesus and what a glorious day that is! Additionally, it is about the love, magic and belief that we carry in our hearts especially during this time of year. Christmas is a time of giving and remembering all of our family and friends.

So as stressed as I was initially with our ginormous Christmas tree, we have all embraced it and love it! It is a comical story I hope our children remember, can laugh about, and share with their children one day. Our Christmas Eve service today with the beautiful music and glorious message had Reece and I moved to tears, so those are the moments to cherish and embrace, not what our tree looks like.

P.S. I’ll be sure to share part II of this story after we figure out how to get this gigantic tree out of our home after Christmas! Wish us luck!

MERRY CHRISTMAS Friends!

Love, Josh, Nicole, Reece, William, and Rudy Nyberg!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Phthalate Reference Guide

Phthalate Quick Reference Guide

You asked and we answered! Here is your one-page reference guide on phthalates! How can you possibly remember ALL OF THE THINGS we should be avoiding in our products? Use the reference to assist you to keep you and your family safe from the harmful effects of phthalates!

phthalate - quick reference guide to keep your family safe!
Phthalates – tips to follow to keep your family safe!

Click HERE to read a more detailed post on phthalates, and how to identify them on labels, what products in your home may expose you to them, and how they can affect the health of you and those you love! Do you need suggestions on safer personal care products, cleaning supplies, and home goods? Click HERE to see my favorite safe, clean products!

Leave a Comment!

If you find value in content like this one-page reference guide on phthalates, please comment below! I know it is difficult to decipher through all of the information available, so I hope you find this helpful! My goal is to share what I have learned and continue to learn in my mission to keep harmful chemicals out of my home. Please follow me on instagram to stay up to date!

Tips to live a more clean and green lifestyle
Please follow me to learn what chemicals to avoid and for more safe product suggestions for you and your family!

 

Exposure to phthalates and their affect on your health

Phthalate exposure and your health

Why do we really need to worry about phthalates? Do they really deserve the bad rap they have been given? Uhmmm, yes! But why? First off, the word is incredibly difficult to spell! But in all seriousness, phthalate exposure has consistently been linked to hormone disruption, worsening asthma and allergies, increased risk of cancer, miscarriage, birth defects, preterm birth, low birthweight, and so much more!

according to the CDC (Center for Disease Control and Prevention), phthalates are a group of man-made chemicals that are used as an additive to PVC (polyvinyl chloride) products. They are colorless, odorless, oily liquids that are added to make plastics flexible and more difficult to break.

Phthalates are also used as solvents or dissolving agents for many other materials. They are often added to personal care products to make the fragrances last longer. But did you know that the ingredient “fragrance” can include dozens of chemicals and companies are not required to disclose the ingredients publicly on the label.

Unfortunately, when phthalates interact with each other, the exposure effect is increased. In the 2008 report, Phthalates and Cumulative Risk Assessment, the National Academy of Sciences (NAS) found strong evidence that exposure to a low-dose mixture of five different phthalates caused harmful effects even when exposure to each phthalate individually showed no effect.

Where will you and your family be exposed to phthalates?

You can find phthalates in hundreds of products, including, but not limited to vinyl flooring, shower curtains, adhesives, detergents, lubricating oils, plastic clothes (raincoats), air fresheners, soft-sided lunch boxes, plastic food wrap, garden hoses, inflatable toys, medical tubing, and even some children’s toys.

Children's toys, exposure to phthalates and altered behavior
How many of your children’s toys may contain phthalates?

They are also often found in cleaning products and personal care products.  Personal care products with phthalates added to them may include soaps, shampoos, hair sprays, nutritional supplements, and nail polishes.

Personal care products and your exposure to phthalates
What ingredients are in your hand soap?

 

How will you and your family be effected by phthalates?

You may be exposed to phthalates by eating foods or by drinking liquids that have been in contact with containers containing phthalates. Phthalates do not attach to the product, they migrate to the surface and are then released through heat, agitation, and prolonged storage. The release occurs during all of the stages of the product lifecycle from production, through use, and even disposal. It is also possible to inhale the vapors if the air contains dust contaminated with phthalate particles.

Once phthalates enter your body, they are converted into metabolites that are quickly excreted in your urine. Studies have shown that over 90% of the American public has measurable amounts of phthalates in random urine samples. What does that mean? Sadly, although they may be excreted quickly, we are repeatedly and continually exposed to them.

Who is at an increased risk from exposure to phthalates?

Pregnant women and their fetuses

Recently, two studies from Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health revealed that phthalates may increase both the risk of miscarriage and gestational diabetes.  Studies have also shown that fetuses who are in a critical window of human development are more vulnerable to adverse outcomes from phthalates.  Phthalates cross the placenta and they can be transmitted through breastmilk. A study showed that children whose mothers were exposed to phthalates during pregnancy were more likely to have problems with motor skills and language development. Therefore, there are not just short-term effects from phthalates but effects that may last their entire lifetime.

Young children

Sadly, young children are also at a greater risk of being exposed to phthalate particles because of their hand-to-mouth behaviors. They are also more at risk from phthalates because they are at critical stages of development and due to their smaller body size.  With repeat exposure to children’s products manufactured using multiple types of phthalate compounds we are sadly unsure of the amount of exposure for our little ones.

Children's toys and potential exposure to phthalate and altered behavior
A simple toy may expose your child to dangerous phthalates.

How to identify the most widely used phthalate compounds in products

Some of the common phthalates found in consumer products include:

  • Bis(2-ethylhexyl)phthalate (DEHP)
  • Dimethyl phthalate (DMP)
  • Di-n-butyl phthalate (DBP)
  • Diethyl phthalate (DEP)
  • Diisononyl phthalate (DINP)
  • Diisobutyl phthalate (DIBP)
  • Di-n-octylphthalate (DNOP)

Exposure to phthalates and reproductive health

Phthalates are endocrine disruptors.  They have been shown to disrupt the body’s hormones and cause reproductive health effects. Many phthalates interfere with the production of testosterone, the male sex hormone which is necessary for proper development and function of the male reproductive organs. Interference with testosterone activity, especially early in life, may have irreversible effects on male reproduction.

Additional health effects of phthalates

According to Jurewicz (2011), there are strong and consistent indications that exposure to phthalates increases the risk of allergies and asthma as well.  Studies have also shown an adverse impact on children’s neurodevelopment and negative changes in toddler behavior.  Phthalate exposure in humans has also been linked with an increased risk of cancer, obesity, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, birth defects, preterm birth and low birthweight.

Why are we still exposed to products with phthalates?

It is personal to me!

After reading all of this, you may wonder how is it possible that we are still exposed to phthalates on a daily basis? For me, it is a very personal issue to hear how phthalates may have effected my pregnancies and ultimately my children. I had my son prematurely at 23 weeks followed by two miscarriages.  Could my preterm delivery and miscarriages be due to exposure to phthalates? Maybe – but I’ll never really know.

Why are we not protected from phthalates?

Sadly, current law does not require manufacturers to disclose whether or not products contain phthalates, which leaves regulators and consumers completely in the dark. Companies can also just add “fragrance” to the label even if phthalates make up 20% or more of the product.  Some toy and cosmetic companies have started to eliminate phthalates from their products, which indicates that it is possible to reformulate products without the use of dangerous phthalates! So why do other companies not follow suit?

We need stricter regulation in the United States

A growing number of states, including California, Maine, Oregon, Vermont and Washington, require product manufacturers to disclose the use of chemicals that may cause birth defects, reproductive harm and/or cancer. But consumer protection should not be left to the voluntary actions by just a few companies or states.

We need stricter regulations here in the United States to protect us. Food manufacturers should no longer use food processing equipment and packaging that contain phthalates. State and federal governments should ban phthalates in home furnishings, building materials, cosmetics, food packaging, and medical devices. ALL cosmetics companies should refuse to use phthalates and other potentially harmful toxic chemicals in personal care products. Hospitals should no longer use PVC medical devices.

What can I do to protect myself and my family?

Read labels and avoid using products that contain phthalates. Support and purchase from companies that are committed to producing phthalate-free products like Beautycounter. Avoid products that include the vague ingredient “fragrance” on the label. Purchase products that are organic and products packaged in glass. Avoid using plastic containers in the microwave or dishwasher.  Click HERE for a quick one-page reference on phthalates – what to watch for and how to avoid them!

 

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Celebrating and honoring all mothers on Mother’s Day

Celebrating all mothers on Mother’s Day

Honoring all mothers on Mother's Day
Our family

The grief that may come to many on Mother’s Day

I wanted to take a minute and explain why I believe all mothers should be honored on Mother’s Day.  It should be a joyous day, but it may not be for everyone.  The weeks building up to it and the actual day can be difficult for many people.  We are blessed enough to still have my mother and mother-in-law in our lives, but many people have lost their mothers, and mourn them even more on Mother’s Day.  Many women have hopes of becoming a mother, but for whatever reason, often due to infertility or other complications, that dream has yet to be fulfilled. For many women, they mourn for their children that they were never able to meet alive or some have gone through the horrific tragedy of losing their child.  A day that is meant to be joyful can quickly turn into a day that many may dread or have a hard time getting through.

The different types of mothers we need to honor

Many women may not have children of their own, but they may play the role of a mother.  We also need to celebrate those women as well! You may be an aunt, a teacher, a mentor, or an amazing friend – remember, you mean so much to those children, do not take your role lightly, and celebrate it!  You may be a step-mother and you are unsure of your place, but believe me, your role is incredibly important!

Being a step-mother

I officially became a mother to my step-daughter, Reece, when Josh and I got married in September of 2013.  We have definitely had our ups and downs, but overall, we have a great relationship.  Has it been difficult? Absolutely! Becoming a step-mom has been one of the most difficult experiences I have ever been through.  I often feel as though I’m the first one to blame and the last one to thank.  I care so much and I have the best intentions in mind, but I often feel that my opinion and role are second fiddle because I am just her step-mom.

Defining your role as a step-mother

I know some step-mothers struggle with which role they will play – will they be more of a friend or a mom.  For me, I instantly took on the motherly role.  Although, at the young age of 6, Reece gave me the line, “you’re not my mom” after I had scolded her one time very quickly.  🙂 I have always known that she may not like me in the moment, but I know that deep down she does love me.  It brings me so much joy to see how kind, loving, and well-mannered she is – or at least as much as a thirteen year old can be 😉  She loves Jesus and is an amazing big sister! I feel blessed to have had an opportunity to play a small part in her life! Although it hasn’t been easy, I feel like we are better than we have ever been and I’m excited to see what our future holds!

Being a step-mom
Reece and I

William, my first born

William.  He has taught me more than anyone in my life thus far!  Throughout my pregnancy and since he took his first breath, nothing has been easy for him, but he has continued to persevere.  He had to be emergently delivered at 23 4/7 weeks and weighed only 1 lb, 6 oz.

Living in the NICU – Living with no regrets

He is now a strong, funny, sarcastic, smart, shy, strong-willed, determined 5-year old.  After 91 days in the NICU, we were able to bring him home.  Once we walked out of those NICU doors, I was completely a different person and with an renewed sense of trust, faith, hope, and belief.  I feel so blessed to be his mother.  Josh used to get after me when William was in the NICU because I spent all of my waking hours sitting next to his isolette or holding him when I could.  It was the most helpless feeling I have ever experienced.  As a Mom, I wanted to protect him and I believed as though I had already failed him in that regard.  I could not protect him in the womb, so I had told myself that I was going to sit there and fight the fight with him.  If God forbid anything happened to him, I did not want to have any regrets.  Considering everything he had to endure and for how hard he had to fight, the least I could do was sit there, pray with him, sing to him, love him, and support him.

My strong-WILLed 5 year old

William is doing remarkably well considering he was born so prematurely.  There are still some things that are more difficult for him.  It is hard to decipher what may be due to his prematurity versus him just being William.  And in reality, it doesn’t really matter.  But as a mother, to see your child struggle is incredibly difficult.  All I have ever wanted to do is protect him and I can’t always do that, even now.  He is definitely a little spoiled, but still so kind, incredibly strong-willed and he has such a big heart.

He made me a Mama
William and I at his fifth birthday party

My personal struggle with miscarriages

After William, we waited awhile, but then decided to proceed with building our family.  I became pregnant and Josh and I were cautiously optimistic.  Just as in William’s pregnancy, my first trimester went by very smoothly.  But as I entered into the second trimester, I quickly began to have problems that mimicked my pregnancy with William.  Unfortunately, unlike William’s pregnancy, they were unable to stop the preterm labor and I delivered my son Weston at 14 weeks.  That same year, I experienced another miscarriage in my 8th week of pregnancy.  I think of the babies I lost EVERY. SINGLE. DAY, but Mother’s Day is extremely difficult for me.

If you have experienced a miscarriage or know someone who has, please visit HERE and listen to my conversation, Working Through Emotions After a Miscarriage with Julia Pascoe, LCSW.

Honoring your infants after a miscarriage
Remembering mothers who have had a miscarriage or loss

Bereaved Mother’s Day

There is a day called International Bereaved Mother’s Day that is celebrated the week before Mother’s Day.  It is dedicated to remember mothers who have either lost a child or have not been able to conceive.  I like the idea of this, but at the same time, I also believe that these women should be honored on Mother’s Day.  They are still mothers and always will be.  Even if I was not lucky enough to have Reece or William, I would still be a Mama to Weston and Baby Nyberg.

So next year, please remember those who may struggle a little more on Mother’s Day.  Talk to them about it and do not be afraid to tell them Happy Mother’s Day!

Do I really need to clean my fruits and vegetables?!?

 

Helpful Clean Living Tips
Read the tips below for simple, helpful tips on how to thoroughly wash your fruits and vegetables to keep you and your family safe from harmful chemicals.

Make sure when you go shopping for your fruits and vegetables, bring your reusable mesh fruit/vegetable bags with you to avoid using the plastic bags from the store.  I love these because they come in a variety of sizes and are super sturdy!

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration recommends washing produce thoroughly. Using vinegar to clean your fruit will help kill bacteria and ensure your fruits and vegetables are safe for consumption. A study published in 2003 in the “Journal of Food Protection” found that washing apples with a vinegar and water solution reduced salmonella on the outer skin significantly more than washing them with water alone. A study found that vinegar killed approximately 98 percent of bacteria on the surface of fresh fruits and vegetables. Wash fruits and vegetables using 3 parts water to 1-part distilled vinegar. I use this distilled vinegar.

  • Smooth-skinned produce – includes tomatoes, apples, pears, and grapes. Use a spray bottle with the vinegar mixture to thoroughly coat the exterior of the fruit or vegetable.  Allow the produce to rest for 30 seconds before rubbing its surface and rinsing it under cold, running water which will remove the vinegar taste. The FDA recommends cleaning smooth-skinned fruits and vegetables by gently rubbing them with your hands instead of an abrasive scrubber to prevent the skin from breaking, which could expose the flesh to contaminants.

  • Rough-surfaced produce – includes broccoli, cauliflower, leafy greens, melons, potatoes, berries that are more difficult to clean. Soak the fruits and vegetables in the 1 to 3 vinegar solution for 10 minutes to ensure the acidic blend kills all bacteria. Once the soak is complete, scrub the vegetables with a brush and rinse them under running water.
  • Leafy vegetables – Pour the distilled vinegar into a large bowl or basin and add 3 cups of water. Stir gently with a large spoon or ladle to mix the liquids thoroughly. Separate the leaves of leafy vegetables, such as cabbage, lettuce, spinach and turnip greens, and dip them in the vinegar solution. Remove from the bowl, rinse under cold running water, shake off any excess and pat dry before serving.

Additional Tips:
 To protect yourself, always wash your hands thoroughly before and after handling the fruits/vegetables.
 Thoroughly wash sink before washing fruit or vegetables.
 Wash any surface the fruit/vegetable touched, including knives and cutting boards.
 Never cut or peel fruits and vegetables before washing them, as this can contaminate the flesh.
 Always dry produce with a clean cloth and cut away damaged areas before serving.
 When working with cabbage and lettuce, discard the outer leaves but do not fail to wash the inner leaves individually.
 Blend lemon juice with the vinegar mixture to increase its efficacy by increasing the acidity which will help kill larger amounts of bacteria, including E. coli.
 Washing berries with a vinegar solution offers additional benefits — it prevents them from molding within a few days of purchase.
 When shopping, choose unbruised and undamaged produce.
 Always wash oranges, melons, squash, pineapple and other produce with inedible rinds — cutting or peeling the produce will transfer contaminants to the edible flesh.

Overall, the USDA found 225 different pesticides and pesticide breakdown products on popular fruits and vegetables Americans eat every day. Before testing, all produce was washed and peeled, just as people would prepare food for themselves, which shows that simple washing does not remove all pesticides. The EWG’s Shopper’s Guide is a resource designed to help you reduce your pesticide exposures as much as possible by indicating which produce you should try to buy organic, and which conventional products are low in pesticide residue.

EWG’s Dirty Dozen for 2019
1. Strawberries
2. Spinach
3. Kale
4. Nectarines
5. Apples
6. Grapes
7. Peaches
8. Cherries
9. Pears
10. Tomatoes
11. Celery
12. Potatoes

Although we cannot prevent all of the chemicals from entering into the produce we purchase from a store, I hope these tips and knowledge will help to ensure to keep you and your family safe!

Has your sorrow ever blindsided you on a Monday afternoon?

 

Moving on from your grief – or are you?

I am just like you.  I have grief and anguish that rises up within me on a daily basis from previous chapters in my story.  Someone may look at me on the outside and assume that my heart has not been completely crumbled and that I do not have daily struggles. In my professional life, I am able to go to work, do my job well and for the most part, hold it together.  But, I am broken on the inside too. I have been able to put one foot in front of the other and move on from my losses.  But that’s just it, I have moved on, but not through my many layers of pain.  

Sadly, the pain that we carry inside of us from our difficult chapters will follow us until we work through it.  Over time, we will just keep piling up our baggage until we almost break physically and mentally.  

How do you know when you aren’t handling your grief well?

Late last year I finally admitted to myself that I was struggling.  There seemed to be more bad days than good.  Looking back now, I knew that I was not my best self for awhile before that day.  I was snapping more at my family and I was much more short-tempered and sometimes, just mean.  I realized that I had never actually worked through my pain and losses.  It is amazing how time still moves on regardless of what you may personally be going through.  Before you know it, a few days pass by, followed by a month, then years.

Has your sorrow ever blindsided you on a Monday afternoon?

You may be at work, playing with your kids, or driving in your car and you’re hit with complete and utter sadness and hopelessness.  Have you ever experienced such sadness that it physically makes you buckle in the knees and fall to the floor in complete despair? I know I have! Listen HERE to hear a recent and raw personal experience of mine.

Do you have moments of just wanting to crawl into hole and cry like a baby but you somehow force yourself to keep it together because you are in front of your children or at work.  Personally, I try my best to not get upset in front of my son because he becomes very distraught if he sees me crying and tells me that I’m not sad which is his way to convince himself that I’m okay.  Over time, you may even become impressed by your own ability to repeatedly shove the pain down and tuck it away for a “different day.”  

Have you ever been ashamed of how sad you really are – even to your spouse?

Have you ever tried to hide from your husband when you couldn’t control the tears running down your face?  You are simply too ashamed and cannot bear to see that look in his eyes again, full of worry, concern or worse yet – judgement. Do you smile, laugh at jokes and continue to show everyone on the outside just how well you really are doing?  Yes, yes, and yes!!!  Unfortunately, the facade you present to the outside world just hinders the inevitable and your ability to truly heal.

Does the thought of seeing a therapist make you feel ashamed?

I have felt and done all of the aforementioned.  Moving on and not actually through your grief and sadness is a great defense mechanism.  Many of us have perfected it out of necessity, but it will not lend well to your current and future well-being.  For me, I had told myself that have a family, a busy job, a home to care for and quite honestly, I just didn’t have the time to go and talk to someone – or maybe I just didn’t think that I needed to.  

Does the thought of seeing a therapist scare you or make you feel ashamed? Not me! I love therapy! I think I was just in denial that I needed help and sadly, as a mother and wife often does, I was putting everyone else’s needs above my own – until I couldn’t any more.  By carrying all of the weight of my sadness and grief, I was not serving my family well – or more importantly, myself! Happy wife, happy life – rather healthy wife, healthy life!  

Progress, not perfection

I still deal with some of my sadness on a daily basis, but I am in the process of working through it.  Progress, not perfection.  Deep down, I know that there are pieces of my heart that cannot be completely mended back together, but I do believe that with therapy and support from friends and family that I can start living my best life.  

I am hopeful that as I continue to slowly work through my pain, disappointment, and grief that I am able to help you or someone you love who may be struggling as well.  If you feel as though you are having a difficult time moving beyond your sadness and grief, I also encourage you to find a friend, support group, counselor or therapist to start working through your grief.  We will get there!  

If you or someone you know has had a miscarriage or the loss of an infant, please consider reading this post with some optional podcasts to listen to where I sit down with my friend, Julia Pascoe, LCSW. We discuss working through the many different emotions after a miscarriage as well as the anger, guilt, and loss of control many woman endure. I am here to offer support and help and most importantly, for you to know that you are not alone. 

 

 

May I have a side of chemicals with my makeup?

 

May I have a side of chemicals with my makeup?

Are your products safe?

Do you know ALL of the ingredients in the products you use on your skin, lips, or hair on a daily basis? More importantly, do you know all of the ingredients in your children’s personal care products including their shampoo, body wash, body lotion, or in your daughter’s makeup? If so, can you say with 100% certainty that they are safe?  Unfortunately, in the United States, we can never assume that the products we purchase are safe just because we picked them off of a shelf in a department store.

Unsafe products due to under regulation in the U.S.

The challenge for the average consumer stems from the fact that the personal care products industry is largely self-regulated. The manufacturers are not required to conduct premarket safety testing under the current laws. Amazingly, the laws that govern the office’s authority for personal care products in the United States are just 1.5 pages long.  What is even more frightening, there has not been a major federal law passed to regulate the safety of ingredients you use on your body since 1938, which is when they were first enacted. On a side note, it took me almost 10 minutes to even find the Food, Drug, and Cosmetics Act. The American cosmetics industry is a massive $70 billion-a-year industry, while the Food and Drug Administration’s Office of Cosmetics and Colors has an annual budget of just $8 million and 27 staff members.

What does that mean for us? It means that there is huge burden placed on all of us to try and decipher what is safe and what is not! Due to the poor and out-dated laws, the FDA is not required to approve personal care products or the ingredients in them before they are launched and sold in stores.  Without the time and appropriate knowledge, the average consumer will purchase these products, take them home, and apply them without hesitation on themselves and their family members!  Did you know that the European Union bans over 1,300 chemicals in the product formulas of personal care products and they have restricted the levels of over 250 more in such products whereas the United States has only partially banned 30 to date?!?

How many chemicals do you apply to your body on a daily basis?

According to the Environmental Working Group, it is estimated that on average, a woman uses 12 personal care products every day, exposing herself to approximately 168 chemicals. Although men tend to use half as many products as women, they still apply on average 85 chemicals to their body every day.  Or think about your tween and teenage daughters, who are experimenting with makeup application and exposing their largest organ to dangerous chemicals or even asbestos as in the recent reports from Claire’s and Justice.

To make matters even worse, if a company receives health-related complaints, they have no legal obligation to report the health problems to the FDA.  In 2014, the FDA began to investigate WEN by Chaz Dean Cleansing Conditioners and found that the manufacturer had received over 21,000 complaints related to hair loss and scalp problems, yet the product remains on the market.  Or the lawsuit against the well-known Johnson & Johnson who failed to disclose a possible link between their baby powder and Shower to Shower talc powder and ovarian cancer.  Sadly, I was one of the many who used Shower to Shower for years, so the claims are incredibly frightening for me and may be for many of you!

chemicals in products
What is in your products?

Fragrance – what does it really mean?

The law also permits manufacturers to leave ingredients off of a label and it does not require companies to tell consumers what is actually in the company’s secret blends.  Fragrance is essentially a catch all term for “secret ingredients” that companies are able to use. They allow it because the mixes they use to create scents are considered trade secrets, but may contain hidden ingredients like phthalates.  A study by the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics looked at 17 brand name fragrance products and discovered 14 chemicals known to have harmful effects on the human body. According to the FDA, fragrance blends are actually responsible for up to 30% of all allergic reactions to skincare products.

Allergic reactions, infertility, cancer, endocrine disruption and so much more!

So is a rash or an allergic reaction as bad as it gets? No, not even close! Studies have found direct correlations between chemical exposure in personal care products and infertility, miscarriages, hair loss, asthma, and even cancer.  Chemicals like parabens and phthalates are commonly found in lotions, shampoos, and nail polishes and are in a class of chemicals called endocrine disruptors.  What do endocrine disruptors actually disrupt? Reproductive problems including infertility, early onset puberty, endometriosis, breast and testicular cancer have all been linked to class of chemicals, endocrine disruptors.  Phthalate exposure in humans has been linked to changes in sex hormone levels, altered development of genitals, low sperm quality and count as well as obesity, reduced female fertility, preterm birth, low birthweight infants, worsening of allergy and asthma symptoms, and altered toddler behavior.

What can we do to protect ourselves and our family?

Phthalates and parabens are just two of the chemicals that can be found in products you and your family use on a daily basis.  When is the last time you checked the labels on your products? If you haven’t started, now is the time.  We, as average consumers, have to take our life and that of our family into our own hands when it comes to the potential dangers of chemicals in your personal care products! As you’ve read, the government and FDA are not protecting you as much as you may have thought.

Please start by educating yourself on some of the dangerous, common chemicals found in personal care products throughout your home.  I will continue to provide you with valuable information to help guide you on what to look for on your labels and steer you towards safer products for you and your family! Click HERE to see some of my favorite companies that provide safe and clean products or those companies that also give back in different ways!

It’s time to take action!

Take a bold step today and pull 5 of your products from your shelf and scan them on EWG’s Healthy Living App.  The app will rate the overall safety of your product and more detailed information on any allergy concerns, cancer concerns, or developmental concerns.  It will also provide you with individual scores for each of the ingredients so you can learn what exactly may be problematic and why.  Feel free to comment on what you find out!

EWG hazard score
EWG’s Hazard Score Key

What is your story?

“Wake up Nicole, you had a baby boy.” The words I had been waiting to hear since I was a little girl dreaming of my future family. But my reality was far from the perfect story I had envisioned all of those years before.

What is your story? We all have a story. I have a story. My story is not extraordinary but it’s my story and is has forever changed me and the person I am today. I have had some great and glorious chapters in my story, but I have also endured some very difficult experiences in my life that were completely out of my control. Admitting that I do not have control over many chapters in my story is a very difficult concept for me to grasp and accept, and it may be for you as well. But how do you handle those left turns that knock you off of your feet? Regardless of our personal stories, we do have the ability to change some of the chapters in our lives. What kind of person are you? When something devastating occurs in your life, are you someone who will fall down to the ground in complete despair, with feelings of utter hopelessness and with the complete inability to move and get back up? Or are you someone who collapses to the floor, has a moment, but with time accepts what has happened, and begins to dig deep down inside to find the inner strength and determination to pull yourself back up and fight? The beauty of owning your own life story, is that you can change the chapters in your story! It is up to you!

Welcome to my new blog! My name is Nicole Nyberg. I am not a motivational speaker, nor am I a therapist. I am a woman, a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mom, a step-mom, a co-worker, and a friend who, just like you has experienced real life situations. I have learned some things through each of the chapters in my life and I continue to learn new things everyday! Have you ever felt like an experience in your life has repeated itself? As I look back on my life, I can now appreciate that sometimes a situation has repeated itself over and over until I actually came out of my fog and was able to learn the intended lesson – even if it took several times (insert eye roll)! My “Clean Up Your Act” blog is a place where I hope to share stories, laughter, ideas, joy, suggestions, generosity, tips, recommendations, and sometimes even a swift kick in the rear to help you clean up your act on the inside and out! I will speak very directly to you (and try to not be offensive) to help encourage you to take your life by the horns, accept the good, the bad, and the ugly and begin to live your best life! Now is the time to get up off the ground, accept your reality, take responsibility for your own actions and change the chapters in your life!

I will never pretend to have all of the answers nor will I put on a masquerade that my life and my well-being are in a perfect state. I have made and continue to make mistakes in my life on a daily basis just like you! I have been learning a lot over the last few years about living a cleaner life. I try to closely watch what I put into my mouth, what we put on our bodies, and how we clean our home. After hearing some of the absurd statistics regarding harmful chemicals in our food, personal care products, and cleaning products, I cannot unlearn the information and will not go back to living the way that I used to! Lately, I have also been focusing more on my mental and physical well-being and am working towards being a better version of myself. Again, I am a work in progress and will never claim perfection, but I hope you will join me in my journey! Thank you for taking time from your busy life to read my first blog! Be well, Nicole.